Tales of women at Sea

Haidar

18 years old, Nigeria

23 May 2023

Eighteen-year-old Haidar, from Adamawa state in northern Nigeria, is a young man whose glowing smile masks the burden he carries as the only boy in a family of 18 children. After his father died of diabetes, he had to work to support his mother and 17 sisters. 

He feels the weight of the responsibility that rests on his shoulders: “I am the only one but I know they need help. They need many things but until now I have not started doing anything. That is why I am not happy.

Haidar left Nigeria for Libya in 2021 due to the insecurity caused by the Boko Haram crisis, which claimed the life of one of his uncles. “I have an uncle who was kidnapped. We did not have money to collect him and they killed him. That is why I said let me leave Nigeria.

Now Haidar fears for the life of his mother, who is still in Nigeria. Since leaving, Haidar has not revealed his whereabouts to his mother, anxious that she would not be able to bear the thought of her child suffering. Instead he told her he was working in Morocco.“I know if I tell my mother I am in Libya, she will cry every day and worry. This is why until now I have not told my mother I was in Libya… because you know how Libya is.” 

For many young men and women like Haidar who made the difficult decision to leave their home countries, Libya means starvation, sexual and physical violence, torture and gross mistreatment. During his time in Libya, Haidar spent three months in prison where he was regularly tortured and beaten with metal objects.

When Haidar was rescued by Geo Barents, he had not spoken to his mother for three months. When asked what he felt when he thought of her, he said: “I just think about what would happen to her if she hears that I am dead. […] I know my mother will not stay [alive] without me. She will die.

I want to build my mum a big house and help her more… I miss my mother so much. I love my mother so much and my mother loves me. All I want is to see her again, God willing.

Despite the inhumane treatment Haidar endured throughout his one-year stay in Libya, he is filled with hope and determination to create a better life, for himself and his community. He says he dreams of being in a position to help not only his family, but everyone he knows who is struggling or unable to afford a decent living back home in Nigeria. 

Haidar hopes to study international relations in order to get a decent job and provide for his mother and the rest of his family. “I want to build my mum a big house and help her more… I miss my mother so much. I love my mother so much and my mother loves me. All I want is to see her again, God willing.